Not Even Antepenultimate

Cold, drab and damp; not a great day to be doing anything other than a short little spin, partly off-road but not a proper mud lark, to counter being indoors.

Out with Charli, on the on-road sections we had two instances of absolute arse-holes in cars. No, they weren’t a danger to us, but witnessing such idiocy doesn’t do much for your faith in humanity . Both instances were much the same – cars overtaking us in a hurry, trying to squeeze in to gaps before oncoming cars arrive, not going anywhere fast because once they’re past us they were immediately behind other slower moving vehicles, having not been held up behind us for any length of time at all. In short, daft driving for no gain and no appreciable reason – it’s not as if they had cause to be frustrated.

The first car was one of the posher BMWs. Now, it’s dumb to generalise to too great an extent but it’s an observable phenomenon that a higher percentage of BMWs you encounter – whether you’re a cyclist, in a car or whatever – are driven by dick heads. This applies especially to those driven by men, which is the majority, though some women – presumably those with undue amounts of testosterone – fall into this group too. I should say now that I’ve two friends who are BMW drivers who aren’t in this class. I know it’s not every one of them, but it is a significantly higher proportion than for other makes.

My theory is that the brand attracts particularly insecure and vain males, drawn to their ‘ultimate driving machine’ slogan. The kind of people who imagine that they’re worthy of ‘the best’ and are burdened by the need to trumpet their belief in their worth by having a car of sufficient supposed merit. BMWs may, or may not, be ‘ultimate driving machines’; I neither know nor care. What I do know is that even if they are, that manifestly does not make their owners ‘ultimate drivers’.

The second car was another male, in another typically male car – one of the sportier VW Golf models which are, of course, all too often ‘wannabe cars’. I don’t understand why anyone, by driving one, would want to broadcast their failure to achieve the ‘real thing’, whatever that might be. I presume they are too wrapped up in their aspirational dreams to realise how the rest of us are judging them on their tenuous grip on the lowly rungs of the ladder they’re climbing.